November 16, 2025 Paid subscribers
When Your Inner Life Feels Like a Borderland, Not a Home
Why God often works most in the places that feel least “spiritual.”
There are seasons when you look at your own life and think, I should be farther along than this. Not in success, not in followers, but in interior solidity. You want to feel integrated, grounded, and consistent — yet some days your heart moves in different directions at once. You feel God strongly in some moments, and in others you feel scattered, restless, or pulled toward old habits that you thought were behind you.
Some days you feel like you’re watching yourself from the outside.
Other days, you’re just trying to stay steady.
And beneath it all is this subtle ache: Why does my inner life feel like a borderland instead of a home?
There’s a line from St. Augustine that’s brutally honest and deeply comforting:
“My weight is my love; wherever I am carried, it is my love that carries me.” (Confessions 13.9)